Young, Wild, & Free...

I must say that I spend quite a significant amount of time wondering what that phrase really means. What is it to be 'young, wild, and free'? Is it bad choices? Is it reckless decisions? Is it destructive drug addiction and irresponsible consumption of alcohol? Is it fun? Is it love? Is it daisy dukes and a ripped t-shirt? Is it no strings attached? Is it random strangers? Is it tobacco and Mary Jane? Is it passion? Is it music? What does it really mean?

I feel as if though I try to live my life honestly, when it comes down to it my entire existence is a lie. I do things I don't want to do for people that I don't even like. I smile when I don't want to, I laugh at jokes that aren't funny, I flirt with men who repulse me, and I pretend that all of this is fine. I over think every thing, I allow past tense lovers to become synonymous with my present, I conform to the ridiculous expectations of society, and I so obediently do what I am told. My heart is not mine and neither is my mind. Though I make the claim that I am 100% genuinely me "all day, erry day" I don't think that's ever been the case. I don't think I've ever known what it is to be "me". If you asked me who I am I wouldn't be able to tell you. Instead I'd volunteer the "me" that I am perceived to be by the millions of people that experience "me" on a daily basis though none of them have ever lived in this skin.

I want to get to that moment when you surrender yourself to the universe and allow yourself to just be. When I grow up all I wish is to be able to be Young, Wild, and Free...

XOXO,

Chacha